I Can't Do This... (Part 3)

“Ewe.” I groaned opening up my eyes to see Bella licking my face.

I love Bella, but this whole licking of the face thing gotta stop… I sighed placing her back on the floor. I got up from the bed to have the biggest headache ever. How do I even develop having heading this easily?! I didn’t get that much sleep because the baby kept kicking and kicking and it kept me up. Like can I get over this pregnancy already?! As I was walking down the steps, Bella following me, I saw Amy, Mayers and Corey on the couch.

“Hey!” Mayers yelled getting up from the couch.

“No, don’t yell.” I pouted, returning his hug.

“What’s wrong with you?” Mayers laughed.

I pointed at Corey, who widened his eyes. “And I have a headache.”

“Your pregnant girlfriend is having a headache and you can’t get her anything?!” Mayers gasped.

“The door was locked, dumbass.” Corey glared.

“Still.” Mayers mumbled.

“Hey! Jamila!” Amy jumped getting off the couch and walking over to me.

“What?” I asked, putting food in Bella’s food bin.

“Do you think you can um, give me a ride to the mall? I got some money from Corey and I really need to go get the baby something!” Amy squealed.

“I’m not going anywhere, nor am I taking you anywhere.” I stated.

“Ugh! Come on! I know you’re pregnant and all but you could at least go out for once in your life and not be a freaking ant stuck in your hole all day.” Amy glared.

Did she just call me an ant?

“Did you just call me an ant?” I thought.

“I was speaking metaphorically.” Amy said.

“No, I’m not taking you to the mall. Ask your hard headed cousin.” I rolled my eyes, walking back upstairs.

“Again with the fucking name calling.” Corey grumbled.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt your wittle feelwings!” I said with baby noises.

“Seriously, you both just got back together, why the hell are you fighting?! You have 2 months till your little baby is born.  The baby has ears you know! When the mom is upset, the baby can sense it! So you two grow the hell up.” Mayers glared.

“Whatever.” I mumbled, walking the rest of the steps upstairs.

When I got to my room, I looked at my cell phone and saw that I have about 3 missed calls. It’s like 10 in the morning, who the hell calls so damn early?! But it’s whatever, I’m going back to sleep. It’s not even 12 and my headache is starting to get to me.

~~~ Taylor’s POV few hours later ~~~

God I hate New York. Why the hell am I here?! Oh yeah! I have to celebrate with Dustin with the cup today. Why the hell couldn’t this thing be on a fucking Saturday?! It’s Tuesday! Who the hell gets all excited about going to the Cup…? Oh. Yeah never mind, disregard that. But still, I hate being here.

“Babe, you alright?” Dustin asked.

“Y-yeah I’m fine. Just tired.” I sighed.

I was in Dustin’s living room in his house when the doorbell suddenly rang. Dustin let out a sigh and looked at me.

“It’s time.” Dustin grinned big.

“Yay.” I said with no amusement at all.

I sighed; it’s time to put my fake smile on. But I’m still excited to see Lord Stanley. We are planning on taking the cup back to LA because my mom has been dying to see it since Tampa Bay’s last Cup win. My brother was at the Kings final so was Dashawn. But no matter how much I’ve loved seeing my boys score goal after goal after goal, I just couldn’t stop thinking about how much I want another pack of cocaine. Yeah I’ve smoked weed but come on… I just, yeah I need help.

“Taylor!” Dustin shouted.

“Well here goes nothing.” I sighed to myself.

~~~ Couple hours later ~~~

“Well that was better than I thought.” I smiled.

“Yeah because you hardly were around.” Dustin said.

“Sorry, I was just a little tired. I told you that before they even came” I mumbled.

We were eating dinner that I prepared for us since I was having those moments. But anyway, dinner was just awkward altogether no matter what. But Dustin kept the conversation alive, I wanted it to die. Now.

“Have you uh, decided on that offer?” Dustin asked after a moment of silence.

“What offer…?” I cocked my head.

“Rehab.” Dustin said.

Wow!

“Uh, yeah. I’m gonna be going to the one Jamila went to when she almost OD’d.” I lied.

I didn’t even ask to go to it in the first place. I haven’t even talked to Jamila for like ages. I don’t know I really need to talk to her anyway. Even though I called her 3 times earlier today.

“Oh? Is that so? So you wouldn’t mind me calling Jamila and asking her if you called.”

“What the hell is your problem?” I glared, obviously offended.

“You’re lying to me. That’s the problem.” Dustin snapped.

“Fine, you know what.” I said, getting up from the table and walking over to the phone.

I put the phone on speaker and hit 2, because that’s the speed dial for Jamila. It rang three times before she answered.

“Um, hello?”

“Jamila?”

“Uh, no this is Amy. May I ask whose calling?”

“Give Jamila the phone.”

“Whose call--”

“Give Jamila the damn phone!” I yelled, very annoyed.

Amy or Emily, whatever her name is, huffed and started swearing under her breath. Then I heard Jamila in the background.

“There’s a bitch on a phone for you.”

Whomever this Amy chick is, I’m gonna hurt her.

“’Ello Taylor” Oh how I miss my best friend.

“Baby boo, do you still have that number to the rehab center?”

“Uh, why the hell do you need that?”

I turned around to see Dustin facing me saying “What are you waiting for?” look.

“I need it because…. Dustin found my uh… he found cocaine in my purse.”

I swear, I really thought she died or something because nothing was being said on the either line.

“Jay? You still there?”

“Y-yeah, Taylor. I’ll uh… I’ll text you the number later.”

Before I could reply, Jamila already hung up the phone. I turned around to look back at Dustin. I started glaring hard at him for what he just made me do.

“I hope you’re fucking happy with yourself.” I spat and left the kitchen to go upstairs.

~~~ Sarah’s POV ~~~

“KRIS!” I shouted pounding on the door.

So this asshole decided it would be funny to throw all my shit outside… from the fucking balcony. I mean seriously?! Why even attempt to do that?!

“KRIS! Open up the damn door!” I shouted again.

No answer.

Oh wait! I knew I was empty-minded… I forgot we kept a spare key under the flowerpot that I never attempt to water since we got it. I picked up the pot and cheered to myself when I found the key still sitting under there. Now, let’s hope he didn’t change the locks. He won’t do that though.

I pushed the key into the lock and turned until I heard the click. I started fist pumping like an idiot; I picked up the remainder of my stuff and walked inside. Just to find Kris in the kitchen drinking. Uh oh….

“Kris, why’d you throw all my stuff outside?!” I glared.

He didn’t move an inch when I started stabbing my finger in his shoulder.

“Answer me!” I shouted.

“You fucking cheated on me!” Kris finally snapped, dropping the beer bottle on the floor.

Fuck I’m screwed.

~~~ My POV ~~~

“Jamila Rae!” Ashley shouted walking into my house.

“My god my middle name is Sarah! Not Rae; you asshole.” I glared.

“No it’s Rae. Now, I got you mint tea.” Ashley smiled handing me my cup.

If you’re wondering, Ashley and I decided to talk after god knows how long of not talking. She’s like my big sister and I couldn’t just leave her out to dry anymore. I really wanted to hear her explanation towards why she decided to jeopardize my relationship with Corey. What makes matters worse; she knew I was pregnant this whole time.

But after we finally made up, she decided to move down here to Chicago with James because she wanted to be here for my birth and she didn’t want to miss any of it. Isn’t she a doll?

“Thanks. Oh hey, can you drive me to Sarah’s house?” I asked.

“Why? Can’t you drive yourself?” Ashley thought sitting on the couch next to me.

“No.” I stated bluntly.

“Ugh! Jamila, I don’t want to drive!!!”

“You just fucking drove 15 minutes here to give me tea!” I glared.

“That’s because you kept complaining on Twitter that you want tea.”

“Haha, I knew you would look at that.” I mumbled. “But yeah, can you drive me?”

“What about that chick who masturbated in your bed?” Ashley smirked.

“Oh Amy? She’s having a “Cousins Day Out” with Corey.” I rolled my eyes.

“Couldn’t you just ask one of the g—“

“Ashley!” I shouted, clearly annoyed.

“Alright, alright fine. Are you going like that?” Ashley asked.

“Yes. I feel comfortable in pj’s right now.”

~~~ Sarah’s House ~~~

“Why is the door open?” I cocked an eyebrow when we approached her house.

“I dunno. Wild sex with Kris, she just didn’t want to close the door…?” Ashley shrugged.

“My god, you’re sex-crazed.” I rolled my eyes, getting out the car.

When I got out the car, I heard a glass break from the inside, I turned to Ashley and she had the same expression on her face. We quickly made our way inside, making sure to stay quiet. God knows what the hell is happening right now.

“You were fucking cheating on me!”  Is that Kris?

“Look I already fucking apologized! You can’t hold that shit against me!” Oh god Sarah told Kris….

I knocked on the door frame of the kitchen and they both swung around towards Ashley and I. Sarah’s face automatically relaxed and Kris’ face did the same. Yeah like that bitch was relaxed.

“Jam what are you doing here?” Sarah asked.

“I thought we could go grab something to eat… I thought you got broken into or something when I found the door open and heard glass shatter.” I said, eyeing Kris, whose head was down.

“Yeah I’ll go get my purse and just fix my face.” Sarah mumbled walking past me.

When she was out of site and earshot, I immediately turned my attention towards Kris; I approached him and slapped his arm.

“Ow! What the fuck!?” Kris glared.

“What the hell is your problem?!” I glared back.

“My problem?! She cheated on me while she was away!” Kris shouted.

“Damn, I knew those were hickeys.” Ashley whispered.

I rolled my eyes at Ashley and turned back to Kris.

“Look, yeah she made a mistake but you didn't have to fucking throw her clothes out!”

“How’d you know I threw them out?” Kris asked.

“Her bra is hanging from the balcony.” I said.

“Her boobs are so small.” Ashley laughed.

“Ashley!” I glared

“Whatever. I don’t need to discuss this with you.” Kris said walking but I stopped him.

“Sarah is like my sister, you don’t treat her like shit because of ONE thing. You need to get your head out of your ass and grow up! Should I tell her that you were at strip joints when she was gone?!” oh, struck a nerve.

“It’s not like I slept with anyone.”

“Okay I’m ready.” Sarah said walking down the stairs.

“Alright.” I said, picking up my bag and walking towards Ashley and Sarah.

I look back towards Kris and gave him a look that said you better apologize.

~~~ Corey’s POV ~~~

“Sooo! What are you gonna do when you have your first baby.” Amy asked me.

God, since we’ve been out she wouldn’t stop talking about Jamila’s pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girlfriend’s pregnancy, but she’s too cranky.

“I’m gonna get rid of you. By that, it means, your ass is going back to Quebec.” I smiled.

“Why?! You’re so damn mean! Jamila said I could stay longer!”

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at Amy, “You’re lying.”

“Am not.” Amy said.

“Yes you are.”

“Okay, okay, maybe I am. But I don’t want to go back!” Amy begged.

Sighing, I opened the door to the baby place and decided to just go straight to the new born boy baby section. Amy went straight for the girls section and I rolled my eyes. God my child is gonna be spoiled by her it’s a shame.

“Corey!” Amy shouted.

“Ugh, what?” I glared.

“I got this awesome ladybug outfit!” Amy gasped, holding it up to my face.

Dear god this is gonna be a long ass day…

~~~ My POV ~~~

“So uh… how are you and Crow doing?” Sarah asked when we finished ordering our food.

“Fine. He’s out with Amy right now.” Like I care.

“Someone’s in a pissy mood.” Ashley mumbled.

“Damn, I wonder why?” I glared pointing to my stomach.

“Anyway! Why were you and Kris fighting?” Ashley asked.

“I told him about my trip to Florida…” Sarah trailed off.

“And….?” Ashley ushered on.

“I met this guy a--”

“You two had sex didn’t you!” Ashley gasped.

“Yes.” Sarah mumbled.

“Hoe.” I laughed.

“Whore.” Sarah said back.

“Tramp.” I glared.

“Hooker!” Sarah yelled, causing everyone around us to stare.

“Nice going dummy.” I laughed.

“Look, I already apologized to Kris; I don’t see why he’s acting so fucking immature about it. It’s not like I had sex with 5 guys.” Sarah said. Referring the last line to me.

I glared at her and ignored her comment, “Hey do I get to meet him.” I wiggled my eyebrows.

“Yeah I told him that you said that we’re gonna come down in October.” Sarah said.

“Do you at least have a picture?!” Ashley thought.

“Yes, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise. He is a hockey fan and he likes the Panthers.” Sarah said.

That right there made me stop drinking my soda and look back up at Sarah who was picking at her nails. Damn she would get really bad habits of things. I swallowed the rest of the drink and stared back at Sarah.

“Excuse me he’s a fan of what?” I thought.

“Panthers.” Sarah said.

“WAIT! Doesn’t Kris play on that team!?” Ashley thought.

Such a newbie.

“Yeah…?” Sarah said.

“You idiot! You had sex with someone who’s a Panthers fan! What if Kris finds out?!”  Ashley gasped.

“He’s not going to know. Now shut up and eat.” Sarah said when our food arrived.

~~~ After lunch ~~~

After Ashley dropped both Sarah and I off at our respected houses, I walked into my house to be filled with baby stuff all over the place. I sighed heavily and thought this is just too much money to be fucking spending.

“Hey baby.” Corey said.

“Corey…. Why is this place filled with baby stuff…?” I asked.

“Oh, Amy thought it would be a good idea to start buying toys and stuff.” Corey shrugged.

“This is a lot of money….” I glared.

“No it’s not. Amy paid for half of the stuff anyway. I just brought an outfit and that was it.” Corey laughed holding up a baby jersey with his name on the back.

“Really?” I glared.

“What? It’s fashionable!” Corey gasped.

“Yeah because your name is on the back of it.” I shook my head, walking into the kitchen.

“Hey now…” Corey warned.

I was just about to reply back when Amy came down the steps squealing. That’s sad; it feels like she’s my own child…

“Guess what!” She shrieked.

“You’re moving out?!” Corey gasped.

I and Amy bother glared at Corey because of his stupid response.

“No. Mayers is taking me out to dinner!” Amy jumped.

“Gross.”

“Awe!”

“How is it gross?!” Amy gasped looking at me.

“Because he’s like 50. You’re only 19.” I shook my head.

“It’s not like he’s gonna touch me or anything. It’s a friendly dinner.” Amy shrugged.

“It better be. Or I’ll kick both of your asses.” I said, popping a grape in my mouth.

“Why are you so protective?! GOSH!” Amy laughed.

“Because Mayers’ is like my brother and you’re like the daughter I never wanted. So! Watch yourself.” I winked and headed upstairs.

Once I got inside my room my feet was attacked by Bella. Even though she’s a puppy, she’s one hyper dog! But yeah anyway, I slowly made my way over to bed and turned on the T.V. I don’t even know what time it is and I just realize I have been out all day. Now I want a nap.

~~~ 10:30 p.m. ~~~

“Jamila!”

“Jamila!”

I groaned when I felt someone violently shaking my shoulder. I turned over to my side to see Amy jumping up and down. Then I looked over to my other side and find out that there are no more grapes. Ah fuck. Damn I really slept long…

“What do you want Amy?!” I glared.

“I want to tell you about my dinner with Mayers!”

“Why don’t you go tell Crawford? My head hurts really badly.”

“He told me to tell you!” Amy pouted.

“Asshole.” I mumbled getting up, “Okay tell me….”

As Amy was going on and on about her dinner with Mayers, which I wasn’t really paying attention too by the way, because all I could think about was how can Corey be spending a lot of things already and the baby isn’t here yet? What if he buys the wrong gender clothes? See that’s why I hate when he does random surprises.

“… And that all that happened!” Amy giggled.

“Wow, congratulations. Now get out.” I groaned going back under the covers.

“Thanks for listening though.” Amy smiled and left the room.

“I tried.” I mumbled and drifting off back to sleep.

~~~ The next morning Sarah’s POV ~~~

So Kris isn’t mad at me anymore, even though he decides to sleep in a damn hotel room. What sense does that make? You don’t hate me anymore but yet you decide to sleep in a hotel?!? It was probably a motel. Cheap ass motherfucker. I don’t know how he can even get a hotel room for one night. Well as of now, I don’t care.

Anyway! Since I’ve been home from the academy everything’s been messed up. And by everything, I mean my life. Kris is pissed, the guy from the academy kept calling me nonstop and I just wanted to throw my phone across the room. Jammy’s baby is due soon and I want everything to be normal again. Yeah like that’s gonna happen but yeah.

But you know, since it’s been over a month since I’ve left the school and came home, I’ve been welcomed with open arms… only my Ashley and Jammy. Everyone else practically hates me. Well minus the Hawks team and my family, but that doesn’t really matter, I guess? I don’t know. It was terrible when I told Kris the news. But today, Ashley and I are going to the baby store to go get baby clothes for Jamila’s baby. I decided to get little boys stuff, and Ashley decided to get girls. Why? I don’t know. It’s just how we operate I guess.

I pull up to Ashley’s driveway, smiling to myself when I see her standing on her steps with a latte cup in her hand. She’s spoiled as fuck. Ever since she started dating Toews, he’s been giving her everything she wants. Hell, he even took her to Paris for their 4 month anniversary. I’m actually jealous. Really jealous.

“Hey Sarah” Ashley smiled, hoping into the passenger side and closing the door.

“Hey Ashley! Ready to go, baby Jammy shopping?!” I grinned happily, as I start pulling out of her driveway and down the street.

“What do you think she’s having?”

“Probably a boy. She did say she wants a boy so they can be amazing hockey players.” I smiled.

“There’s no way in hell Jamila said that. You’re just stubborn and thinking about yourself. Loser.” Ashley laughed, turning on the radio to the nearest nation that doesn’t have a lot of static.

I hate when people touch my radio.

~~~ One year later; February 23^rd 2013 My POV ~~~

“COREY!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

It was been a good 6 weeks since I’ve been pregnant. The team has had an amazing start to the season, Corey got congratulations sex after ever game, and I’ve been extremely happy that Amy has been around more to help me. Even since she started dating Shaw, which I must point out I don’t approve at all because oh my god reasons, she’s been really happy.

Also, ever since Ashley, Sarah and I became extra close, our friendship has rocketed out of this earth. I’m happy to call them my best friends. I’ve kept in touch with Bieksa all throughout my pregnancy and I’m proud to say that he and Crawford are getting along. Corey and Emery still fight ever once in a while because Emery will always bring up the time when I slept with him. He’s an asshole when he finally has a girlfriend. Whom, I really don’t approve of because she has fucking buckets of make-up on her face, and she always gives me dirty looks. Like wow, I slept with him first. Bitch.

But anyway back to reality…

“COREY! AMY! SOMEBODY?!” I screamed again, crying out in pain.

“What?!?!” Amy screamed frantically as she ran down the steps with Bella in her arms.

By the time she’s right in front of me, another pain rings through my body.

“M-my water broke.” I whimper, holding my stomach in agonizing pain. “Please hurry Amy!”

“I uh- shit. Okay hold on!” Amy said, putting Bella down in her playpen, running downstairs to the basement where Corey has always been since he’s been home. And to be honest, it annoyed the hell outta me.

~~~Amy’s POV ~~~

“COREY!” I yelled racing down the steps to my stupid cousin’s man cave, so he calls it, with Jamila’s baby bag.

“What?” He looked at me then back at the TV.

“What the hell are you still doing down here?! We have to fucking go!” I was gathering Bella’s bowl and stuff.

“Why?” All of a sudden you heard a horror movie scream. “Why is she screaming?”

“HER WATER BROKE YOU IDIOT!” I screamed.

Corey’s eyes went wide, tossing the bag of chips to the side of him as he rushes up the steps looking all over the place for Jamila. I was right behind him already calling everyone that was told by Jamila to call months prior.

“Oh my god she’s on the couch you idiot!” I shouted at Corey.

“Oh right!” He said, rushing over to her.

~~~ Corey’s POV in the hospital ~~~

Three hours later, and Jamila’s labor had progressed successfully. She was almost 7cm dilated, and the contractions were getting extremely close together and lasting longer.

It was 7pm when I got word that Bieksa had arrived with his brothers and even half of the Canucks team. Jamila’s dad was with them but I hadn't been able to greet them. Jamila would panic whenever I would leave her side.

"Baby you're doing so well." I said quietly, my hand gripping hers as she experienced yet another painful contraction.

It was clear to me that Jamila was becoming increasingly tired from all the hard work she was experiencing. Her eyes shut briefly and I found myself just staring at her.

I loved her so much. The two heartbeats that I could hear beeping throughout the room were so important to me and I couldn't begin to explain how much it meant to me that they both sounded so healthy.

I took this opportunity to stand up and leave the room to greet my family.

"How's she doing?" My mom asked.

"She's just fine. She's exhausted already though."

"Can I go in and see her for a bit?" Jamila's mom asked. I nodded, hoping there wouldn’t be any problems.

"Sure."

She walked into the room and I used this opportunity to walk to the bathroom and grab some coffee after.

"Are you excited?" Bieksa asked when I returned. I grinned and nodded.

"Yeah. It's horrible seeing her in so much pain though."

"I'm sure she'll be okay."

I smiled, discarding the paper cup and entering the room again. Jamila was whimpering as she lies on her back and let another contraction take over. Her mom was gripping her hand and reassuring her that she was okay.

She looked up at me and smiled, letting go of her daughter's hand as the contraction finished. "I'll be in again soon." She explained to Jamila.

"Okay." Jamila replied in a tired voice. I passed her mom and then sat down in the seat again, taking hold of Jamila's hand.

"How you holding up?" I asked, smiling slightly.

"This is taking forever." She said quietly, looking so tired. I smiled slightly, stroking her face with my free hand.

"I know. But it'll be worth it. I promise."

"I know." She said, facing me and smiling lazily.

I kissed her forehead as she shut her eyes once again.

It was two hours later that Jamila was examined once more and the doctor revealed that she was 10 cm dilated. The second part of her labor was about to begin.

Jamila cried out as another contraction happened; clearly the pain was still strong despite the epidural.

"It's okay Baby." I soothed, my hand gripping hers and she cried silently with her head down. "You're doing great."

Jamila was breathing hard when the contraction ended, but we knew that this was only the beginning of the pain she would experience in a moments time.

"I'm going to have to ask you to push on your next contraction, okay Jamila? Wait until the peak of the contraction and then start pushing as hard as you can." The doctor explained.

Jamila nodded, gritting her teeth as another, stronger, contraction took over. Jamila cried out as she pushed but then something happened that clearly wasn't expected.

"Stop! Stop pushing!"

Jamila relaxed, exhaling heavily.

"What's wrong?" I asked, confused.

"The cord is wrapped around the neck of the baby."

It was then that I looked up to the screen of the heart monitors and noticed that the heart rate of the baby was severely lower than it had been before.

"What?!" I said, desperately. "What does that mean?!"

"It means the baby can't breathe." The doctor said, moving away from Jamila and calling for assistance.

"Corey." Jamila whimpered. "What's happening?"

"It's alright Babe." I whispered, stroking her face. My hands were shaking as three more doctors entered the room and gathered near her bed. This definitely wasn't good.

I watched as Jamila had another contraction, the doctor yelling at her not to push. I bit my lip as they told me to move away, forcing me to let go of her hand and stand back.

"What's happening?" I asked quietly.

"We need to sedate her."

"What?!"

"We need to do an emergency C-section. You have to leave."

"What?! No! I'm not fucking leaving!"

"You have to leave!" The doctor said pushing me towards the door of the room. I ignored her, my eyes glued to the other doctors as they injected Jamila.

"I'm not leaving her!" I said, struggling to break past the two doctors that were now pushing me towards the door.

"Sir, you have to leave right now!"

I was pushed out of the door and it was shut before me. I was frozen there as everyone asked me what the hell was going on.

I turned around, trying to work out what was going on myself.

But I couldn't respond. I just stood there like a zombie as they all spoke at once. My mind was set only on the way Jamila had begged me to stay with her. And I'd broken that.

"Corey." my mom said, getting me to look at her. "What, is, going, on?" She said slowly.

I didn’t even know she came. But that’s not the focus right now.

"Something is wrong." I whispered. "They had to sedate her and do a cesarean." My mom looked at me, worry clear in her eyes. "They made me leave."

"It'll be okay." My mom said, but I shook my head.

"You didn't see the doctors Mom. They were panicking. What if something happens?" I whispered. "What if she dies?" I choked out, clearly about to cry.

My mom pulled me against her and I ran through all the possibilities in my head. Not only could the baby not survive.

Jamila may not either.

"I can't lose her." I whispered, pulling away and wiping my eyes. "I can't fuckin'- I can't...do this without her Mom."

"Jamila is going to be alright." She said softly. "Just hope for the baby."

"I promised I wouldn't leave her Mom! I said I wouldn't-"

"It's not your fault Corey. Just focus on the baby alright?"

It was at that moment that we all heard the muffled sound that we all desperately needed to hear. The baby was crying.

It was okay.

I broke away from my mom and swung the door open, but at that moment, I desperately wished I hadn't.

The heart monitor was going crazy, and Jamila's heartbeat was all over the place. It was when it died down that I realized what was happening.

I hadn't even seen the baby and I was being told to leave once again. I walked out of the room with no fight this time, my mind too clouded to focus on staying.

I didn't want to be in that room. I didn't want to be anywhere near the sound of Jamila's heartbeat being barely there.

No one approached me as I slid down the wall and hid my face in my legs, tugging at my hair slightly.

I didn't even look up when someone walked out of the room. I heard Jamila's mom ask what the hell was happening and I grimaced when I heard the doctor exhale loudly.

"The baby is fine. It's a perfectly healthy baby girl."

"But?"

“Jamila's not doing so great."

"Well what's happening?!" My mom asked angrily.

"She's no longer responding to us at all. She's sedated, and we're doing everything we can but-"

"But what?!" Her mom asked desperately. I felt like covering my ears so I didn't have to hear the next sentence.

"But we're afraid she might not wake up."

~~~ Couple hours later ~~~

I stood up, ignoring the shocked reactions of my family and Jamila's mom. I wiped my eyes and walked to the doctor.

"I want to go in.”

"You can't see her right now. She's not stable."

"No. I want to see the baby."

"Oh. Come with me."

I left my family and everyone else behind me as I followed the doctor down the corridor and into another room. I was lead over to a row of small hospital cribs and we came to a stop at the furthest two.

"This is your baby." She said, showing me the sleeping baby in the bed with a pink blanket lay across her.

I laughed slightly, and wiped my eyes again as I looked at the baby. She was so beautiful. So tiny. And I loved her so much already.

The doctor stepped back, moving to another part of the room and speaking to one of the nurses, giving me some privacy.

I sat down in a nearby chair and looked down at the sleeping baby.

"Hi Christina." I whispered, running my fingertips along his soft face. "You are so beautiful."

I couldn't stand the fact that I was here doing this without Jamila and it caused more tears to fall. I sniffed, laughing slightly and wiping the tears away as I kept my free arm remaining in the crib.

"You look so much like your mommy." I said in barely a whisper, looking over at the little baby girl. "And she loves you so much." I sniffed again and smiled, trying to get all the thoughts of what was currently happening to Jamila out of my head. "I'm going to take such good care of you… Christina." I whispered. “No matter what happens to her, you'll always have me. I promise."

And I meant it. More than anything.

~~~ My POV ~~~

Kicking the covers off of me, I sat up and yawned loudly. I threw my legs to the side of the bed and stepped down, trying to focus my eyes. The light that was shining through the room was so damn bright.

Pulling open the door it swung outwards and I rubbed my eyes trying to be unblinded. I shuffled my way to the bathroom, pulling down the string cord of the light to try and turn the light off, but just ended up turning another light on.

I was too tired to comprehend that I was being an idiot, and just left the bathroom once I was done and moved towards the stairs.

I walked into the kitchen, stubbing my toe in the process and collapsed at the table, burying my head in my arms.

I felt a hand pat my back and a chuckle. "Another late night Kiddo?"

I groaned and nodded in response, maneuvering myself so that my face was resting on his shoulder.

"Jamila I told you to be asleep by ten last night." My step-mom said walking through the doorway and frowning at us, folding her arms.

"She's alright Vickie. It's Saturday."

"You shouldn't be encouraging her Godfrey."

My dad just chuckled again and I lifted my head, watching my step-mom walk out of the room.

"What's up her butt?" I muttered, laying my head on his chest. My dad moved his arm around my shoulders and held me there.

"Vickie's just stressed out about Jamar."

"Do we still not know where he is?" I asked, lifting my head.

My dad was frowning. "Nope. I'm afraid not."

I felt my eyes well up slightly. "Oh."

"Don't worry." My dad said, rubbing my arm. "I'm sure he'll turn up. You know he always does."

"Yeah." I whispered. "I just wish he had said goodbye this time."

My eyes snapped open and I could practically feel my pupils adjust to the bright light. I stared up at the white tiled ceiling and heard my heartbeat accelerate with fear.

I turned my head to the right and saw the heart monitor beeping and as I looked around the room I realized I was in the hospital.

I looked down at Corey who was asleep, his hand clutching mine and his head lying on my legs.

I moved my hand causing him to stir. When our eyes met, I watched his expression turn shocked as he sat up and immediately wrapped his arms around me.

I lay there, completely dumbfounded as he held me. "Oh God." He whispered. "Holy shit. I thought you were going to die Jamila. I thought-"

"Corey?" I croaked out and he pulled away from me and met my gaze. "What happened? Why am I in the hospital?"

He stroked my face and smiled. "You had Christina, baby."

My eyes widened and I practically shot up. "WHAT?! Where is she? Why can't I remember? Why aren't I-" I was on the verge of tears as I looked around the room.

"Shh. Jamila. It's alright. She’s fine." I relaxed slightly and looked at him. "Lay back down." I obliged and Corey smiled. "Christina is so fucking beautiful Jamila. God, she’s just...amazing."

"You've seen her?" I whispered. Corey smiled and nodded.

"Why can't I remember?" I said quietly.

Corey frowned. "There was a complication and they had to do a C-section. You were sedated. The doctors had trouble getting you to respond again."

"What?"

"We thought...I thought that I'd lost you. It was horrible Jamila." He whispered, linking his fingers with mine and looking down at them.

"How come I'm okay then?"

"They managed to get your heart rate up again and they stabilized it. We've just been waiting for you to come round from the anesthetic."

"How long...?"

"A couple of hours."

I swallowed hard. My daughter had been in this world for two hours and I hadn't even seen her.

"I wanna see my daughter." I whispered. Corey smiled.

"I'll get them to bring her in."

"Has anyone else seen Christina?"

"No." Corey told me. "I refused to let them until you'd seen her."

I smiled. "Thanks."

Corey just leaned forward and placed his lips on my forehead. "I'll be right back."

I laid there on my back and waited, my heart beating loudly in my ears. I was about to meet my daughter…

My mom then entered the room. "Oh Jammy." She whispered, hugging me. "I'm so happy you're alright."

I smiled. "I'm okay Mom."

"You scared us all so much."

Moments later, the doors were opening and Corey was walking through them, a doctor close behind. The doctor held the door open for the nurse who was pushing what looked like a trolley. It wasn't though. It was the bed that the baby was in.

"Hello Jamila." The doctor smiled at me, breaking me from my gaze on the place I knew my baby was sleeping. "Good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"I ache a bit." I said quietly. "But I feel okay."

The doctor smiled. "Good. You might feel a bit drowsy for an hour or so, but that will pass. You were very lucky."

I smiled gratefully. "I know."

"I'll be back in a minute Jamila." My mom said, smiling as she left the room.

"There's someone here that wants to meet their mommy." The nurse said from where Corey was standing.

"Can you sit up little Jamila?" The doctor asked. I nodded, and pushed myself up with my hands until I was sat almost upright, several pillows behind me.

Corey was then sat back down in the chair next to my bed, smiling at me as the nurse picked up the pink bundle and placed it in my arms.

I stared down at the small sleeping face that was Christina Sarah and bit my lip.

"We'll leave you to it." The doctor said, leaving the room with the nurse.

When we were alone, Corey moved and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. I moved my hand and stroked my fingertips along Christina's forehead and along her cheek. She was fast asleep but let out a small yawn as I let her grip my finger.

"Are you sure she's ours?" I whispered to Corey.

Corey laughed quietly. "Of course."

I smiled. "She's just so beautiful. It's hard to believe that something like this could come from me."

Corey didn't say anything as we peered down at her.

Pretty soon she had blinked open her eyes. "Oh my god." I whispered. "Her eyes are so beautiful."

Christina’s eyes were already turning a light brown color. I looked up at Corey and he smiled at me gently.

She was staring at me intently and I smiled at her. "Hi Christina." I said softly. I turned to Corey. "She looks so much like you."

A small smile crept onto his face. "There's something I need to tell you about that actually."

"Later." I said. "I just want to look at her."

"Okay." He agreed quietly. Corey moved his face and kissed my shoulder, then my neck and left his face there. "I love you." He whispered. "So much."

I turned to look at him and pressed my mouth to his. "I love you too."

The door to the room soon opened again and we turned to look at who it was. It was the nurse and she was smiling at us.

I looked back down to Christina who had shut her eyes once again. Corey was still sat on the bed next to me, and the nurse walked over.

"Do you want to try feeding her?" She asked.

I nodded slightly, watching as Christina's eyes opened again.

***

It took several attempts to get it right, but Christina was soon successfully fed, and was now fast asleep again.

I smiled as my mom walked through the door, closely followed by Corey's parents. They gasped loudly when they saw Christina and then grinned at us.

"Do you have a name for her?" Corey's mom asked us.

Corey's eyes met mine briefly and I smiled as he looked back at his mom. "Christina Sarah."

"That's so beautiful." Sarah said, and I could see her getting teary eyed. Her name was Sarah after all. "Thank you."

I passed Christina over to Sarah who held her and then passed her to Corey's mom and then Corey's dad.

It wasn't long until the door was opening again and Bieksa, Taylor, Amy, Ashley and Emery wanted to come in.

"We'll be back in to see you soon Jammy." My mom said, smiling and handing Christina to Corey. I smiled and nodded, watching in awe as Corey held her. It was obvious how much he loved her already.

Much like our parents had, Amy gasped as Corey handed Christina to her. "Oh Corey!" She said happily. "She's so beautiful!"

Corey smiled. "She's called Christina Sarah."

“After me!” Sarah exclaimed.

“Yes, and you’re the auntie.” I smiled, laughing shortly afterwards.

"I love it." Ashley said, peering over Amy's shoulder.

"You can hold her if you want Kevin." Corey said.

"I...might drop her. I think it's better to just look..."

"What? No, you can hold her." I said smiling. I watched as Amy passed the pink bundle to Bieksa and he held her like the most fragile thing in the world.

As Christina was once again passed around the visitors, Corey turned to me, and just sighed contently as he looked at me.

I smiled. "What?"

A small smile appeared on his face as he took hold of my hand. He looked down at our hands. "You have no idea how scared I was."

"I know Corey. But I'm okay."

He looked back up at me with pained eyes. "But you almost weren't. I almost lost you and I don't know what I would have done."

I smiled slightly. "You would have been great Corey. You would've been fine."

He shook his head. "I couldn't do this without you. I couldn't do...anything without you."

I smiled and broke away from his hand, lifting my fingertips to stroke along his face and rest on his jaw.

"I'm here. Alright? I'm fine."

Corey smiled and we broke away when Christina was handed back to me.

Our parents soon entered the room again, and gathered around us. But it might as well have just been me Corey and Christina.

We were a proper little family now, and my life was going to be devoted to her from now on. She depended on me. On us. There was no room for screwing up now.

I looked up and our family's faces and they laughed and joked with each other. Our entire family was with us, supporting us.

The End! (:

A/N: Okay it’s been like what? Almost a year since I last updated and I tried to get it up last night but my computer decided to act like a douche bag and shut off on me and not update like how it’s suppose to. But yeah! Here you go and I will try to update more on the weekends than the weekdays. Because ugh, school. But thanks! :D Hope you enjoyed! ^_^